Chaos, chaos, chaos

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I've got chaos on the brain. Thinking about midsummer and the cusp between perfect verdant, beautiful, restrained growth and wild, dangerous, savage tangled overgrowth.

Thinking about concepts of fairies and brownies and Pan and Puck... Wild things on the edges. Things that seem innocent and sweet, and then, when the light is right (wrong?) fall under a darker shadow of mischief, toward mayhem.

Pondering chaos, wild things and our own wild edges.

I am falling in love with my life

Here's another one I've been holding on to for a week or so... I'm tired of waiting for it to fully bake, I'm going to start this one off and come back to it later as I may have more to say.

I posted this much in a comment on my sister's blog, and maybe it is enough:

I am finally relaxing into my life. And today, a beautiful day, as I was driving toward a graveyard and thinking about death, I realized that when that comes I will relax into it also. I am not feeling "losing control" as often any more, more often I am feeling "letting go of control;" what a wonderful feeling.

Let go!

On a separate (but seemingly related) note... I have taken to defining a theme for my year. I read last year about the woman who was going to live the "Woman Of A Certain Age" year, and was inspired. Of course, now I can't find that post, but in my search I did find this lovely and beautifully written one which I very much appreciated instead.*

Anywho... What I was going to say is, I have always liked this idea but never seemed to fully "feel" a theme for my years until this one. My theme this year... This is my year of being POWERFUL! In all the best and positive ways that can manifest itself. To me it means, taking control, taking action, focusing my attention, and bringing things to life from the energy I have to offer. Power to the people, and the people is me!

Go. Do. Love and blessings.

*Post-note: I found it, of course, when I wasn't looking.

Master Gardener Stuff

Life isn't perfect, and neither am I! I have this voice in my head saying I should wait to write this until I have a perfectly composed post, organized thoughts, meaningful and specific things to say. I've waited for that day before and I find that it never comes... Instead the doubt and judgment manifest themselves as long absences from being present and sharing the jumbled mess that I actually am. No more!

Here's a quick, messy, placeholder of a post (and, just to let you know, I have another one coming right up, but slightly more interesting, according to my inner judge).

I'm in the Master Gardener program through the Virginia Cooperative Extension. I am loving it. I am learning more than I remembered that I could learn in three hours. I want to know more. I'm really bad about reading my homework beforehand, I just show up and absorb. But that's good enough for now - the papers will be there when I am ready for them later.

The first class was Botany - a fantastic subject taught by an amazing dynamic man named Dr. Alan McDaniel. What a fantastic teacher! He taught us about the magnificence and miraculous nature of plants... too much, too much! They amaze me.

The second class was Pesticides... Don't use them... they scare me. If you have to choose them, choose "Caution" on the label (least damaging) and AVOID at all costs "DANGER" or (worst of all) "DANGER: POISON" with the skull and crossbones. Wear plastic unlined gloves (is "unlined" the best way to say, not those fancy plastic gloves with the nice, cushy, absorbent-of-all-things-harmful fabric or feltish lining?). Just say no.

The third class was propagation. More plant amazingness. Grafting, layering, so much, so many ways for a plant to survive and thrive.

So much. I love it! This year is amazing already.